September 8th, 2011
I miss you, my love, as my heart continues to beat without your presence.
As long as you are away I will stay here in this misery, though I feel you everywhere. It is as though you are just in the next room, but when I venture there you are nowhere to be found. As if you had just left and your scent lingers.
The disappointment floods me. Sometimes I can’t breathe and I hope this is the end to a life that has never been worth living. In those moments my mind is lost and wondering. Creating all the ideas of why you are not here beside me, protecting me from the worst and all.
Something reaches me and suddenly the feeling has vanished. Tired, I begin to breathe again and there’s me and nothingness, staring at one another. I believe it knows, everything, that I am here, alone and waiting for something without a face.
It’s consuming, my love, to be here without you. How can anyone be expected to live a life as this one is, without a voice of complaint.
I stay for hope of you. I believe you were once here and simply left, beyond our control. After these days, endless as they may be, I am surviving in the anticipation of one day deserving you.